Dad!!! I Wish You Croon Again

Dear Dad,

Today I want to tell you so many things I haven’t told before because I know - I can't hold my tears looking at you. It’s true that I don’t need any special day to express my love for you yet I’ve learnt to celebrate the little things come on my way. On this father’s day, I want to tell you what an amazing person you are. You have always been my hero – A man of golden heart, a man of words. Though the world perceives your image of toughness, I know you are just like a tender coconut – extremely soft within.

I grew up wishing to be like you - a staunch supporter of humanity, a person of immense courage and strong opinion. Fifteen years back when middle-class people in small towns didn’t approbate the idea of sending their daughters out of town for higher studies, you stood firm on our career aspects. People suggested you to save your hard-earned money for our marriages but you said ‘If my girls are well educated there will be a long queue of grooms outside my house’. It’s challenging to stand against the social norms in a small society where people are more obsessed about the neighbors than their own families. You broke stereotypes. You became an inspiration for friends and relatives to think about their daughters’ career. Your trust and efforts kept me moving on the right path towards my goals. I’ve learnt from you, the most important lesson of my life - keep moving.

You raised me as an independent and strong individual. And sometimes my urge to face the world with my own learnings and experiences gave you a hard time. Your experience could see the future what I couldn’t see in the present, but you never foisted your decisions upon me. Today I understand your dilemma; you panicked at times because you loved and cared. I still remember your expressions the day we had an argument and I came home late; you were standing on the door extremely worried. I thought you would scold me but you calmly asked me to come inside and have dinner. You were scared about my safety. After every heated discussion when I closed the door, you peeped through the window to make sure I was doing fine. Whenever I swam through troubled waters you stood beside me. I completely understand the challenge you faced while dealing with a teenage girl who wanted reasoning and justification behind every situation.

I understand that perfection is not humanly. But as a child, we want our parents to be perfect all the time which puts enormous pressure on them; after all, we consider them our role models. You were also not untouched by this unnecessary agony. Today I am sorry for my unrealistic expectations and I love you so much with all your imperfections. As a father, willingly, you have given more than your best.  At times when you said ‘You are my son’, I always wanted to become one. But in last few years I realized, despite all my efforts and good intentions, I failed. I wish I can succeed.

Life has not been easy on you. You have always prioritized your kids over your own wishes and when you are done with your responsibilities your age and health have put lots of restrictions on you. I know the adamant kid in you wants the complete freedom to live at least now. I understand your discomfort and anxiety. Now at this age of yours, it’s me who is scared – scared of your absence. These days, I feel sad to see you lost mostly in your own thoughts. I know you speak less and prefer to sit alone because you don’t want anyone to notice your emotions. I wish I can once again hear you crooning old Bollywood songs. If GOD has a quota for everyone, I wish you all the love, peace and contentment from mine as well. Happy Father’s Day. Love You Lot.